Tiger Eyes

Ok, I was eight when I was writing this, so don't go too hard on it. May I take a moment to point out, I try to avoid using exclamation points and parenthesis now and I realize that the placement of a tiger as well as the events that occur are highly unlikely. Actually, I don't think any of the facts are accurate at all. I realize that too. Really, it's a random scene from nothing at all. The first part is the original and the second is a rewrite. Maybe it'll turn into a short story, but I don't know yet. Tell me what you think! :)

It was a rainy day in the woods when I was running home. All of a sudden I saw a brightly colored tiger! It growled and roared as the rain dribbled down on him, the plants, and leaves. I went over to it. As I did he purred, then I asked him if he'd carry me home. He said "yes". So I climbed up on his back and off he ran! I could hardly see the trees and the tall (not to mention itchy) grass. But I could feel the rain stinging my face as it poured down and the whipping of the wind. And from then on we were best friends.


This is the rewrite:


The rain poured down in the forest, dripping off of leaves onto the ground all around me. I ran home, my feet pounding the same trail I'd followed so often before. But something was different this time. A smell? I slowed and looked around me. A tiger. 

A tiger watched me from up ahead, amber eyes staring through the grey haze. The rain streamed down his face and body, journeying through the magnificent beast's fur. It gazed at me in silence for a while, each of us transfixed on the other. I looked down into its face and it looked back at mine. How'd I gotten so close? I thought of looking back to see if I'd moved, or if it had been the tiger. But no. That face, the golden eyes reaching out to me, it was captivating. My breath caught in my throat. My heart pounded. This beautiful, majestic creature was right in front of me. He could kill me if he wanted to. Why didn't he? I saw my hand reach out toward the tiger's face. It felt unreal, as if I was watching someone else perform this act. The tiger blinked slowly, like a house cat signaling friendship. My hand found his head and moved behind his ear as if he were a large dog. A low rumbling resounded, strong as thunder. He was purring. The tiger was purring. I watched in awe as he nuzzled my hand then stood in front of me. For a few minutes, I couldn't figure out what he was doing. Finally, I understood his offer. With all the courage I could muster and all the excitement I thought possible for a human being, I climbed upon his back. 
I could hardly see the trees as he ran. They swept past in a blur of browns and greens. The tall grasses rushed along beneath me like a raging river. The rain pelted my body. It stung my face and I could barely open my eyes in the wind. But all of my senses had become unnecessary. I felt a new exhilaration overflow within me, pouring into my blood and seeping into my bones. Pure joy as I had never known it before flooded my entire being. It was then I knew. He was my tiger. My Tiger.