God said... I said...

I think I actually saw this in a magazine once. Something similar anyway, and I made my own. I wrote this on November 11, 2011. Or at least, that's what the document properties say. 

I said: I can’t last much longer here.  God said: Yes you can. I know that you can.  But I wasn't ready when you put me into this.  Yes you were, child. I gave you everything that you needed to do this for me. You've lasted this long, why give up now?   Because I can’t go on. You don’t know what I’m going through.    Yes I do.  You don’t feel like your parents love you. Your old friends have left you and you’re relying on your new friends to help you through this. Your brother can’t seem to leave you alone and your sister either ignores or opposes you.   Well, yeah, but why did you put me in this family? In this position? In this life?   Because I need to strengthen you. I need to prepare you for what you will face later on.   But why this? You could have at least put me somewhere where I feel safe and secure. Somewhere where I would have the encouragement and support that I need.    I told you, you have everything that you need, I just have to make you stronger. Everyone feels alone at some point, you know that. Is the only way to do that to put me here and leave me?  You know that I haven’t left you. I've always been with you. But you don’t show up anymore. Not like you used to. But I’m here. I've always been right by your side. Then how come I can’t tell that You’re there? Why don’t you do anything with my problems? If You are right beside me, then You should know what’s happening and do something about it. Is this just a game to You!? Is it fun for You to watch me go through all of this? No, it’s not. Look around you. I've given you friends that are like a second family to you. I've given you time and dedication. I've given you skills. Please stop trying to push me away. Let me hold you. Let me talk to you. But what about- None of that matters. I know what you hide and what you don’t tell anyone, you’re safe now. I love you.    I know you do.    You have a purpose.   But I don’t think I’m ready.   You are.    What if I mess up? What if I can’t do it?    You can do it.    But what about everything that people have said to me? What about all the ways that I've been treated?   I know all about that. You don’t think that you are worth anything, but you are. You are worth My Son. Don’t forget that. Okay, but you don’t understand how I feel! How could you?   Because I've felt that way. You feel useless. You don’t feel loved or wanted, you don’t think that you are worth anything because that’s what people have told you for the last three years. You aren't sure who you are or where your life is taking you. Did you forget that my son was abandoned and hated by his own people? Do you not remember what they did to Him? I know that you remember that. You've known it since you were little.    But… I know. I’m sorry. I’m just mad and I don’t understand why You were doing this to me.    I know.  Come here. Rest. Don’t worry about anything, I’m holding you. It doesn't matter. I’m here for you. I've been walking through this with you. Don’t worry.    Thank you... for everything.    Rest, my child, you have a mission to go on soon.    I’m ready.    I know you are.   What is it that you want me to do?  Everything. Fight for me, rescue the dying, and comfort the lonely. You know what to do.  I’m ready, God, I’m ready now.