Haunted

This post has been in my drafts for a while. But I think it's time for it to come out. So here I begin...

How in the world can you forget the past when it keeps coming up to haunt you? How can you move on from something, anything, when all it wants to do is cling on for dear life? It warrants tears and frustration. Hate and indecision. And of course that same feeling of want mixed with uncertainty is exactly the thing I feed. Adam Young said once "Why is it -- the faster you attempt to heal from something painful, the more frequently it tends to haunt you? When will the ghosts under the stairs give up and go home? Why can't I give them five bucks and the car keys and tell them to take the night off?" Why? Why can't I write that same poetry as Levi, where he can find himself in the lost corners of his mind. Where he can gather his thoughts into something coherent and make it more than just a bunch of words thrown onto a paper. Where he can create something beautiful. Something wonderful. Is everybody haunted? I don't want to keep remembering the past but sometimes it just won't let go. Sometimes its grip is so tight I don't think I can breathe and sometimes, only sometimes, I'm not sure I want to. The past brings pain. And I know that I should know the future brings hope and forgiveness, I just want to get there sooner. I want to get out of this silent zone I'm in where nothing makes sense because nothing is real because there's nothing to be real that I can make sense out of. I want something concrete. Something that doesn't make me look back and wonder what I did. "I don't want to be left in this world tonight. Am I alone in this fight? Is anybody out there?" - Tyler Ward: Is Anybody Out There?


Is everybody haunted?