December 4, 2012

Questions...

Why is it that just when everything looks perfect and I've neatly arranged all my scenery that a whirlwind comes through and threatens everything? Just when I've filed away all of my Fears and shoved the last few crumbs of Doubt under the rug, a twister runs through and throws everything back out into the open again so that I have to rush to cover it until I have more time to reorganize. I'd just neared recovery from two back-to-back internal battles (the earthquake and the aftershock). Little did I know, a hurricane was on the way. My great-grandma died on Sunday night. I haven't slowed down enough to really soak it in and everything it means. I'm not sure I want to. Maybe this is that "denial stage". If I keep moving long enough, if I can fall asleep fast enough at night, I won't have to think about it and it won't mess me up again. I can outrun the hurricane.
Maybe that's a fantasy, but it's one of the few things I still want to believe. I can't seem to find the light at the end of any of these twisting and winding tunnels. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've been going in circles for months.

Maybe life wasn't meant to be put together. People always seem to think someone or other has their life all figured out, but what if that's not even possible?

1 comment:

  1. better to need God than to be satisfied without Him. Lets all need Him together,since He loves to give of Himself

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