"Love Until it Hurts..."

That's what somebody told me once, quite a while ago. The problem is, it seems like I already do...

Have you ever cared about someone a lot? The way that when they hurt it hurts you and it makes you happy to see them smile? Have you ever had someone like that, only to find that they don't seem like they care about you? I'm not just talking about a romantic interest. I'm talking about day to day people. You get excited because you're going to see them again and they just kind of walk by with a "hi" for formality's sake. If even that. By now, if you've experienced what I'm talking about, you probably know. I'm hoping someone out there can relate. So back to my question, have you ever really cared about someone who doesn't seem to notice or care about you? It is one of the most defeating feelings there is. There are people in my classes at school that I love that way and to them, I'm just another kid. They know I exist, but don't know much about me. Last year, I spent two weeks looking forward to seeing a kid I'd known from a different school. He was coming to shadow where I was and I got so excited. When I finally got to say hi, we had a very brief and formal conversation. The type of thing you do to say "I remember you, but I'm gonna stay over here. Waaaay over here. Away from you." The rest of that day was spent in a mood that can only be described by defeat.

The sadness that comes from something like that, or from a time someone you love is hurting, is relentless. It can take days to remove. The pain of prolonged silence, of constant suppression. It's not something that leaves easily. And, honestly, I wonder whether or not that's a good thing.

What I have decided, at least so far, is that whether or not the pain is good, it is worth it. The love that it requires of you, the effort, the care... THAT is life changing. In your life and in the lives of those who experience it, whether they recognize it or not. That kind of extraordinary love is the same breed of love that compelled Christ to the cross. It comes from the same breed of compassion that drew Him to forgive His betrayer. It is the same kind of love that continues to wake us up every morning. It is unconditional, it is fierce, and it is a the kind of love I once posted about that says we are worth dying for. No matter what the cost is, never stop loving others with everything you are. Out of your love for God let overflow your love for His people. Love until it hurts. And maybe even then some.

"I'm tired of fighting battles that I may never win. But I fight for you." -- Joel and Luke (for KING & COUNTRY)